We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
