I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Can I color on your dick again?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
