I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Oh god it's open bar.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
