he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
