I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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