Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
