I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
