Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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