dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize