You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
