I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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