Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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