I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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