You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
