I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
