i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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