You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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