the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
