Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
