I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
