talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize