what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
