Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize