brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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