Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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