hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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