Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Randomize
