I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
