to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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