I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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