Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
