JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
