I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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