Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
