i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
