look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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