No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
