Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize