But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
