I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
