so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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