Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
