i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Oh god it's open bar.
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