If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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