Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
