Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
