hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
