Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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