Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
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I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize