Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
