So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
