I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
