Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
