Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
