i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
