my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
