Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize