My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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