Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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