It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
