There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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