YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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