Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
