She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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