As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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