I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
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I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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