Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
