he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
