he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
